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What Not to Say to a Screaming Toddler
Why the little guys can’t just “use your words.”
Every parent and grandparent knows that when a toddler is having a tantrum, we’re supposed to ignore them. We aren’t supposed to give them our attention, because that’s what they crave.
Theoretically, anyway.
But what ARE we supposed to do when a toddler in our care throws themself down on the floor and screams? What exactly are we supposed to say when one of our little munchkins hauls off and smacks another? Or when one of them just rips the Elsa doll out of her brother’s hands?
In my travels around as a retired teacher and current Nonni, I’ve seen lots of adults faced with one of these scenarios. I often hear them trying to use language as a way to control things.
“Calm down,” the adult will say. “We do not hit in this house! You may not have the Elsa doll if you’re going to behave this way!” Or the adult will try to steer the little one toward a more pro-social response.
“Honey, use your words.”
I bet you’ve heard this line more than once, and have maybe even used it yourself. “Use your words,” we tell the kids; as if those words are sitting in their pockets and all they have to do is pull them out.
