Please Join Us For National Movie Night!!

No Debate, let’s watch a movie!

While I was listening to the news today, I had a wonderful idea. The anchors on my newscast were announcing that Biden and Trump have agreed to a debate. They were very excited, although I’m not sure why. Every election has debates.

Nevertheless, the news people were super enthused that the two men will debate on June 27. It will, naturally, be on national TV, where some well-dressed, carefully coiffed professional question askers will ask pithy and pointed questions of both old men. Each of them will provide manly, thoughtful, rambling sentences designed to win our votes.

The leaders of both the Democratic and Republican parties, as well as all the talking heads on TV, have begun selling the big event to the masses. I actually heard one guy today suggesting that the debate will be “bigger than the Super Bowl in terms of viewers.” Another guy said, “Everyone in the United States will be eager to watch every minute of this showdown.”

And I thought to myself, after considerable reflection, “Um, no.”

I mean, seriously, no.

This will not be as big as the Super Bowl. It’s not going to be as big as Game One of the NHL playoffs. It’s not going to get as many viewers as the weather report in Hawaii on…