Is Mike Pence Radioactive?

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Image by Gage Skidmore

I honestly can’t figure it out. I just can’t.

The Republican Party finds itself in a strange and frightening situation. They control most of the government, with a majority of the Senate on their team and the White House held firmly in tiny orange Republican hands.

That should be a good thing for Republicans, as everyone knows. But they have one giant, tweeting problem.

The President of the United States is nuttier than any fruitcake. And the entire world knows it.

The Pres is addicted to Twitter, which he frantically uses at all hours of the night and day. He uses it to attack our serious national enemies, like any actor who questions him. Or any talk show host who he suspects might be snickering at him on national TV. He uses it to make up playground worthy nicknames for the kids who are mean to him. He uses it to share lies about impending national disasters, thereby scaring the bejesus out of millions of confused Americans.

The man in the Oval is obsessed with the sane, intelligent man who worked there before him. He will do anything to undo every one of Obama’s actions. He’ll roll back any regulation, undo any law, revoke any order if it carries the name of his predecessor.

No one would be surprised to find that he had drawn a mustache on Obama’s official portrait. In black sharpie.

Our allies around the world are horrified to find the President kissing up to every tyrant he can find while stepping back from our agreements and treaties.

The President can’t make up his mind on how to address the gun crisis. His position has changed so often in the past month that his advisors are complaining of vertigo.

He lies about everything. His weight, his crowd size, his hand size, his awards. He doesn’t find it odd to brag about winning prizes that don’t exist.

We know that he’s also a crook, but that’s not surprising in politics. What’s disturbing is how openly he’s breaking every ethical rule. I mean, sending the military to his resort in Scotland to “refuel”? Seriously?

You’d have to be, ahem, insane to think you could get away with this.

So. The Republicans are dealing with a team leader who is out of his shriveled little mind.

Why are they sticking with him?

It seems to me that our current situation is exactly why the Constitution includes the 25th Amendment.

The President is clearly in no shape to be running things. He needs to go. He’s destroying the Republican Party as well as the country. If they have any hope of survival, it seems to this voter, the Republicans should be doing everything in their power to get him out of the Oval Office.

So why aren’t they doing it?

The Vice President is famously conservative. He’d certainly toe the line in terms of conservative positions and Republican values. Right? He would definitely pick uber righty judges.

So why isn’t the Republican leadership ditching the big buffoon and getting behind Mike Pence?

I don’t get it.

I’ve thought a lot about it, too.

So far I have two theories.

One: Pence isn’t real. He’s a hologram.

Two: Pence has spent too much time dealing with Putin and his pals. He’s become radioactive.

Written by

A Mother, a grandmother, a progressive voter. I write because it’s getting harder to march and because words are my only weapon. I blog at

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