Grateful in the Strangest Way

Back in 2011, all three of my children moved out of our house within about a six week period.

Our oldest was already a college graduate, while her brothers were still in the process of getting their educations.

As a “MammaBear”, that year just about broke my heart.

I know, I know: it is a sign of having succeeded when your children reach adulthood and move out into this wide and wonderful world.

Still, for me the transition was the most painful thing I’d ever encountered.

I remember, so very clearly, one cold winter night after they’d all moved out. I couldn’t sleep. I tossed, and I turned, and I tried to visualize every beach I’d ever seen. At 2AM, my heart was knocking in my chest, and I got up.

I made my way through my silent house to the living room. I stood for a moment in the window, gazing out into the snowy, frozen night.

I knew that I was a very lucky woman; my husband of more than 30 years slept down the hall. Our dogs were snoozing on the couch.

Still. My heart hurt.

I sat down in the rocking chair where I’d so often held my children. I pulled a blanket around myself and stared out into the starlit, frozen night.