I know. Believe me, I know.
Twenty-twenty will go down in history as the worst year EVAH. Wildfires, street violence, poverty, war, a global pandemic and Mike Pence being attacked by a fly.
It was awful.
But it is finally, painfully, slowly inching to a close. Twenty-twenty is drawing its last rattling breath and we are all more than ready to send it off into the burn pits of eternity.
I have my bubbly in the fridge, my jar of organic caviar at the ready, a set of bells to ring at midnight, and a cute guy to kiss while I do it. Buh-bye, you hellacious year of endless Trumpian noise and confusion. Off to the dump with you, you wasted months of binge-watched movies and Zoom violin lessons. I’m more than thrilled to see the backside of you at last.
At the same time, I’ve been trying to be more like those cheery, upbeat “optimist” types. No more Negative Nancy for me! No more Kranky Karen. Nope. I am determined to find the good in everything.
So let’s take a look back at all the good things that we have gained since going into hyper huddle mode.
#1. Welp, I never did find a good lipstick shade. Never in my long life. Every time I have put on lipstick, I’ve looked and felt like a clown. Now every time I step outside my door, I have on a mask. Bam. Problem solved.
#2. You really should see my sourdough starter. Bubble city, baby! My bread is now crisp on the outside, chewy on the inside. And I’ve got the ten pounds on each hip to prove it.
#3. My closets are organized! Yay, me! Ok, so maybe they aren’t organized right this minute, but back in April? You could have found a match for almost every shoe in the house. My ziploc bags were organized by size. It was a miracle to behold.
#4. After 42 years of marriage and ten months of lockdown together, my husband and I haven’t killed each other. I mean, sure, there were moments when each of us wanted to smack the other with a baseball bat, but we didn’t actually do it. It didn’t get past the planning stage. I’m just saying, yay. Good for us. True love prevails!
#5. My technical skills are so much better than they were a year ago! I can now maneuver Instacart, Zoom, Epic, SeeSaw, Kindle, Facebook Live, Facetime, Skype, Google Hangouts, Bright Cellars and Naked Wines. That’s gotta count for something. How cool is it that I can stay safely on my couch while supervising remote kindergarten, ordering groceries, selecting my fine wines, and reading a romance novel, all at once? I do my part to keep the economy rolling, believe me.
#6. Whatever happens next year, it has to be better than this. It has to be better. Next year, at some point, I’ll cook dinner for a big group of friends and family. I’ll hug every single one of them, maybe more than once. We’ll look at each other from inches away and see each other’s smiles. We might even laugh and sing.
Now if only I had a decent lipstick.