Dear thousands of people who are running for the Presidency, covering the upcoming election or publicly opining about the whole gigantic mess;
This is a letter from the American People.
I mean, sure, it’s actually a letter from one cranky older lady in Massachusetts. But I think I speak for all of us when I tell you the following. Please read it with an open mind.
We the People,
….the American people, are a really big group. There are lots of us. As in many millions. We tried, but we couldn’t all fit around one big table at Starbucks. In fact, there are so many of us that we can’t even fit in a really big conference room.
Or the Los Angeles Coliseum.
Or the Grand Canyon.
Do you get it? We are a big, big pile of men, women, and children. We are a huge mass of humanity, all living here between the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.
We come in a whole bunch of colors, shapes, and sizes, too. If you could somehow manage to cram all of into one place, we would hardly recognize each other! Some of us are chubby middle-aged white women with plastic bifocals on. Some are tall, skinny black men wearing three-piece suits. Some wear hijabs, some wear saris and some of us wear yoga pants. We call ourselves males, females, and nonbinaries.
We’re brown, we’re pink, we’re young, and we’re old enough to remember when Truman was in charge. Our eye colors range from deep brown to sky blue with about a thousand variations in between.
We love ourselves some good baseball, except for those of us who don’t. Some of us only watch hockey while others are fans of golf. A lot of us refuse to watch any sports at all. We adore country music, except for the heavy metal fans among us. We have PhD’s and we dropped out of the eighth grade.
We have ten different words for a big deli sandwich on a long piece of bread.
We all live within these borders. That part’s true. But we are NOT a club. We aren’t all Democrat or Republican. We aren’t all liberal or conservative. We don’t all agree about the best way to solve the climate crisis, how much to tax big corporations, how to fix Social Security, who will win the next election or the World Series, or how to grill the perfect steak. Hell, a lot of us don’t even eat steak!!
So…..American politicians. Please pay attention. You really, really, really have to STOP saying “The American people” in sentences like
“The American people know that climate change is the kind of problem only America can solve.”
(Actually, Tom Steyer, a whole lot of us understand that the human race is all in this together, and we’d appreciate any help we can get.)
Stop trying to speak for us. For example, Marco Rubio said this,
“It’s not in our nature. Americans have never been a people that drive through a nice neighborhood and say, ‘Oh, I hate the people who live in these nice houses,’”
Really, Marco? You’re positive that the guy on the back of the trash pickup truck isn’t bitter about the people living in the mansions as he scoops up their slop? You’re positive that nobody out here is frustrated about our inability to move up the economic ladder?
Just cut it out.
And for God’s sake, stop trying to convince us that we all agree with you. We can’t agree on one single thing!!
Wait, that’s not true. Here is one statement that you can use in any setting, no matter which party you belong to:
“The American people are sick and tired of the sniping, moaning, name calling and finger pointing. The American people, the whole big noisy bunch of us, are overwhelmingly in favor of having government officials act like grown ups who actually know what they are doing. The American people want the government to stop shouting, start listening, make some compromises and get the damn job done.”
Karen, self appointed spokesperson for the American People.